Breaking point
by Carzekiel
Summary: After what happened at Alpha s cave Carol has reached her breaking point... New chapter added!
1. Chapter 1

**Breaking point**

Disclaimer: They`re not mine. Not making any profit with them. Just having fun.

Ezekiel stood in Maggie`s former office at Hilltop, staring at the wall before him. It was late afternoon, a million different noises drifting in through the open windows. It was always noisy at Hilltop, too many people crowded in a relatively small space. He barely registered it anymore. Lost in his thoughts he studied the Charter in front of him. He couldn`t even remember why he put it up when they got here, it did nothing but remind him of his failings every day.

His fingers reached out to touch the glass where they had signed the Charter. His name. Hers. She had signed the Charter with "Queen Carol". He`d been so proud and happy. And then – Ezekiel closed his eyes, desperately trying to stop his mind from going down that road again, to not think about what happened later that day. To not think about Henry. There was a sound behind him, someone had stepped into the room. Sucking in a deep breath, he turned around.

For a moment, Ezekiel thought that maybe he was dreaming, hallucinating. But no, there she was, standing across the room from him. Carol. She looked terrible. Dirty, bleeding from a wound on her right temple. Crying. His heart broke into a million pieces again seeing her like that. He wanted to rush to her, help her, but he remained frozen in his place, not knowing what to do. Waiting.

"I`m so sorry."

Her words were barely more than a whisper, but he heard her anyway. Taking a tentative step forward, Ezekiel watched her closely, gauging her reaction. When she showed no sign of retreating from him, he slowly walked over until he was standing as close to her as possible without touching her, all the time afraid that she might run away again. But she didn´t.

Looking up at him, she said it again, tears streaming down her face.

"I`m so sorry."

This time, he reached out, pulling her against him, holding her close. Carol buried her face in his neck, her hands clutching at his back, sobbing helplessly in his arms. They sank to their knees together as Carol let it all out, all strength leaving her body. Ezekiel didn`t say a word, not trusting his voice. He just held her, stroking her back, comforting her as best as he could. He didn`t allow his own tears to fall, not now. Carol had reached her limits and now she needed his strength.

It felt like an eternity until she finally calmed down, her sobbing turning into soft little hiccups before she went completely still. Ezekiel thought that maybe she had fallen asleep, but when he tried to move them a little, she grabbed his shirt, not willing to let him go, her face still pressed against his chest. Ezekiel softly tried to make her look at him, but she refused, shaking her head.

"Carol."

She still wasn`t looking at him, but neither was she letting go.

"We can`t stay here like this."

Still no reaction from her. Not knowing what else to do, Ezekiel placed a soft kiss on the top of her head, whispering "Please, my Love."

That did it. Taking a deep breath, Carol got to her feet and he followed her. For a second he feared that she might turn around now, but she just stood there, shoulders slumped in defeat, her hair a wild mess around her face, shielding her from him. Ezekiel reached out, softly tilting her chin up to make her look at him. He needed to see her eyes, needed to make a connection with her. Carol closed her eyes briefly, but then she gave in, finally looking directly at him. The pain in her eyes matched his own.

At a loss for words, Ezekiel took her hand, silently begging her to come with him. And she did. Curling her fingers around his, Carol followed him upstairs and into his room. Inside, he lead her right into the small adjoining bathroom, turning on the shower.

"We need to get you clean."

Taking her silence as agreement, he slowly began undressing her, starting with her gloves. He froze when he slid off the left one – Carol was wearing her wedding ring. His ring. His heart was hammering in his chest at the unexpected surprise. The tiny smile she gave him when he dared to look at her sparked something inside of him that he had considered lost a long time ago. They stared at each other, neither of them able to speak. It didn`t matter. Right now, no words were needed.

Ezekiel resumed his task, helping Carol out of her clothes, then softly pushed her under the shower. She went but then just stood there unmoving, her eyes not leaving his. Not bothering to take off his own clothes, Ezekiel stepped under the shower with her. He started washing her long curls before turning to the rest of her body. Carol let it all happen, glad that she didn`t need to think, didn`t need to act right now.

After the shower, Ezekiel dried her off carefully, then wrapped her into another towel and lead her over to the bed. By then, Carol was barely able to keep her eyes open anymore, exhaustion taking over her body. She slipped under the covers already half asleep, but when Ezekiel turned around her hand shot out, holding him in place.

"Stay."

Her voice was hoarse from crying, her eyes pleading with him. Without thinking, he shed his wet clothes on the floor and slipped into bed with her. Carol immediately scooted closer, snuggling into his side as close as possible. With her head on his chest right over his heart, she fell into the first deep and dreamless sleep in months.

Ezekiel was exhausted, too – both, physically and emotionally. He would have loved to fall asleep in his wife`s arms, but the fear that she might be gone again when he woke up kept him awake. He didn`t know what to make of all this, but where there had been nothing but heartache an hour ago there now was a tiny spark of hope. She had come to him. When the pain had become too much for her to deal with on her own, she had come to him. And she was wearing his ring. Maybe they still could make it out of this together.


	2. Chapter 2

Carol woke up in the middle of the night, bathed in sweat. She had another nightmare. For a moment, she almost panicked, not knowing where she was, total darkness surrounding her. But then she registered Ezekiel moving next to her, and although she couldn`t see him in the dark, his familiar scent surrounded her, calming her. His hand tentatively touched her leg and with a small sob she scooted closer, pressing her body against his, searching comfort in his arms.

Carol remembered what happened a few hours earlier, how she`d completely broken down in Ezekiel`s arms. Everything had become too much, the guilt and shame overwhelming her. She had screwed up, her hate and need for revenge blinding her, robbing her of her common senses. Now two people were presumably dead and it was all her fault. She didn`t even blame Daryl and the others for leaving her alone at the caves.

At that moment Carol knew that she couldn`t go on like this anymore. She was broken, shattered into a million pieces. In all her pain she didn`t know what else to do than to seek out the one person that meant more to her than anyone else. The one person who had been able to fix her when she didn`t want to be fixed. Her husband. Carol never stopped calling Ezekiel that in her mind, although she probably lost all right to do so by her own foolishness. With him on her mind, she made her way back to Hilltop.

She had wanted to apologize but instead completely lost it as soon as she saw him. Now lying in his arms, she tried again.

"I`m sorry."

Ezekiel didn`t say anything, just gently stroked her back. He thought Carol was talking about yesterday. Jerry had arrived with Aaron at Hilltop a little while before Carol, telling him everything that had happened at the caves, what Carol had done and that Connie and Magna probably were dead.

"Everything that happened is my fault. I`m so sorry. I never should have let him go."

Ezekiel stiffened slightly. She wasn`t talking about yesterday. She was talking about Henry.

"It`s my fault that he`s dead. I killed our son."

Carol was sobbing again, her face pressed against Ezekiel`s neck. He could feel her tears, his own silently streaming down his cheeks. Burying his face in her hair, Ezekiel whispered in her ear.

"You did NOT! You couldn`t have known what was going to happen. It`s not your fault."

"How can you say that? I`m the one who allowed him to go to Hilltop! And I`m the one who left that day! If I had stayed – "

Ezekiel interrupted her.

"And I`m the one who didn`t protect him! I was there and I had no idea what was happening! I even talked to his murderer! If anyone is to blame for his death, it`s ME!"

In the dark, Carol put her hands on Ezekiel`s cheeks, feeling his tears. Resting her forehead against his, she shook her head, whispering "no, no, no" over and over again. She would never lay any blame on him. For the first time since losing their son, they cried together, holding and comforting each other the way they should have done months ago.

When she calmed down a little, Carol took a deep breath. As hard as it was, it felt good to finally talk to Ezekiel, to try and fix things between them. She didn`t know if it was still possible, if he was even interested in having her back, but she needed him to know why she did what she did, what had driven her away from him. And that she regretted her decision. She regretted it almost immediately, but by the time her and the others had arrived in Alexandria last winter, it had been too late to go back.

She tried to summon up her courage, but before she could say something, Ezekiel surprised her.

"I miss you so much."

Carol`s heart clenched at the sadness in his voice, knowing that she was the reason for it. She just had to make that right again.

"I miss you, too. I`m so incredibly sorry for leaving you alone."

"You don`t have to apologize. You did what you had to do. I don`t blame you."

Putting her fingers over Ezekiel`s mouth, Carol silenced him.

"Don`t. Please let me try and explain." When she felt him nod, Carol continued.

"I know you probably think I left because I was blaming you for what happened. I never did that for a second. I always blamed myself. And I was so angry at myself. And her. The anger, it just got more and more each day, it consumed me. You were mourning and I knew that I should have been there for you, I knew that you needed me, but I couldn`t be what you needed. It scared me so much. I was scared that if I stayed, I would lose you, too. That I would lose your love and you would turn away from me and that would just completely destroy me. So I thought it would be best to leave. If I left, I wouldn`t have to face you starting to hate me. I tried to protect myself from even more heartbreak. It was the stupidest thing I ever did."

Carol let out a humorless little laugh.

"I know it doesn`t make any sense. But that`s what I was feeling. I regretted my decision a million times since then."

Ezekiel took her left hand, first kissing her palm, then her finger with her wedding ring on it. Then he put her hand on his chest, right over his heart, holding it there.

"Never ever will I stop loving you. No matter what happens, no matter whatever you`ll do or won`t do, there isn`t anything or anyone in this world that could make me stop loving you. I need you more than I need my next breath. If there is anything that the past months have shown me than it is this. You are my world, my whole life. And I will fight to keep you with me."

The relief that washed through Carol at Ezekiel`s words was overwhelming in its intensity. There was still a hard fight ahead of them, the thread from Alpha and her group bigger than ever. And she still wanted her revenge. She wouldn`t let it consume her anymore, though. Whatever lay ahead of them, they would face it together. Nothing was more important than her husband, her marriage. She knew that now. She wouldn`t let it slip away again.

Rolling to his back, Ezekiel took Carol with him, wrapping them into the blanket. She lay sprawled on top of him, listening to his heartbeat.

"I`m not running away anymore."

It was a promise and she was intent on keeping it.


End file.
